I love to eat. As a child, my grandmother fed me. Who knew how to cook! The smell of her borscht and pies made my head spin. Everything seems to be simple, the food is ordinary, rustic, but as soon as it is laid on the table - even invite the tsar. I would have awarded her all Michelin stars, a cook from God.
I got married late. And for great love. I still think I was lucky. The wife is neat, the house is always in order, she herself is like a bird - cheerful, agile. And it eats just like a bird - it bites there, here it grabs - and is full.
And I have 90 kilos of weight in me, and the work is hard. I come home exhausted, hungry - I would have swallowed an elephant! She's already covered, of course. I say, she is attentive and economic. Serves a full meal. And then my torment begins. She tried, cooked, and ran around the shops after work. And the result ...
Thought I was not used to cooking it. But one day a friend had dinner with us, ate everything that my Lucy had served, said “thank you”. And then I hear out of the corner of my ear at work - he shares with his partner:
- I wish I hadn't dined with them, honestly! It seems that everything is beautiful, but it is impossible to eat!
Then I understood everything. It's not me who is picky, but my beloved cook is no one! So how can a person explain that there are cookbooks in the world? Indeed, on the Internet, no matter what courses there are, you can learn everything, there would be a desire! Moreover, she has it - as I say, she tries. But all something unfinished comes out. Either oversalted, then undersalted.
I made a chicken in my sleeve - which is easier, I spit out hungry saliva from the smell. So the chicken inside is raw, I'm not a savage like that. He slowly cooked it in a frying pan. I want to eat something!
Once in a pie so poured cinnamon - it's impossible to eat! Ate, of course. And he praised them. And then I thought - maybe in vain? Better to say it as it is? But he didn’t dare. I'm afraid of offending her. I couldn’t stand it once. The soup was too salty. He said like a joke - who are you, honey, so in love with that there is pickle in the plate instead of soup? There was a sea of tears. And then this tactic is feminine - she turns away and is silent, she may not speak for a week. I have regretted my words a hundred times already. So he went constantly hungry.
But I found a way out. There is a canteen not far from work. Once I went in - what is there just not! Both salads and borsch, and the most delicious they have are cutlets with mashed potatoes. Like mom's, really! This is where I have been running since then. And before work I have breakfast, and I have dinner with them, and I also grab some pies with me. I made friends with the cooks, we say hello. They think I'm single. I keep quiet, because how can I say that my wife does not know how to cook? It’s somehow embarrassing and unworthy to dishonor a beloved woman.
To be honest, I'm learning to cook myself. In the dining room I talk to the chefs - like so what. But there is not enough time for study - only a lunch break. And then, as I say - you, dear, move over, can I even cook a normal meal? What an insult to her! Yes, and I don't have time to cook, I work late on weekdays, and on weekends we go to my parents, then to her - we need to help with the housework, and I want to see her. I like to go to my people more - everything is so tasty with my mother! She sees that I am losing weight, asks everything if I am sick. I am silent, of course. Tell her, then you will regret it a hundred times! For his beloved son, he will eat his daughter-in-law alive!
This is how I live. I go to the dining room like a bachelor. On the one hand, it is my own fault that I am silent! But on the other hand, whatever you say, if she takes offense and cries.
Lucy takes into account our expenses. He sees, of course, that I am spending money in some unknown place. I began to worry. Well, what thoughts women can have in this direction - spends money, where - does not say. Just got a mistress! Aha, a plate of borscht is my mistress! I can't starve to death!
It’s impossible to say, and it’s stupid to starve. How to be - I can’t put my mind to it. I keep twisting different options in my head, but I didn’t find anything like that, so that both me and her felt good.
